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‘It’s such a savage thing to lose your memory, but the crazy thing is, it doesn’t hurt one bit. A blackout doesn’t sting, or stab, or leave a scar when it robs you. Close your eyes and open them again. That’s what a blackout feels like‘
A raw, vivid and ultimately uplifting memoir of addiction and recovery from the Salon.com personal essays editor, in the spirit of Drinking: A Love Story and Wild.
‘poignant and revealing… Blackout is a touching and, at times, heart-breaking story. It will likely make you cry. But it will also make you laugh out loud… a tour de force… Read this book. You won’t be disappointed’ Huffington Post
‘simply extraordinary’ New York Times
‘dark, funny and honest-to-the-bone’ Buzzfeed
‘an empathetic dissection of addiction and American drinking culture’ Atlantic
‘devoid of preachy admonitions… startlingly personal’ Elle
Read an extract from the book in the Guardian. Click on the image below.
For Sarah Hepola, alcohol was ‘the gasoline of all adventure’. She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. Drinking felt like freedom, part of her birthright as a strong, enlightened twenty-first-century woman.
But there was a price. She often blacked out, waking up with a blank space where four hours should be. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy? She apologized for things she couldn’t remember doing, as though she were cleaning up after an evil twin (by miller). Publicly, she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth. The fuel she thought she needed was draining her spirit instead.
A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, BLACKOUT is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure-the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried, as well as the confidence, intimacy, and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle. Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent themselves or struggled in the face of necessary change. It’s about giving up the thing you cherish most-but getting yourself back in return.
EXCLUSIVE TO TWO ROADS: Sarah Hepola introduces her memoir, Blackout
MORE SARAH HEPOLA: watch her read from her book
READ THE FIRST CHAPTER OF BLACKOUT HERE:
LISTEN TO THE HODDERPOD PODCAST SARAH RECORDED HERE IN OUR LONDON OFFICES DURING HER VISIT IN MARCH 2015:
Sarah Hepola is the personal essays editor at Salon.com. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times Magazine, New Republic, Glamour, Slate, Guardian, and Morning News. She has worked as a music critic, travel writer, film reviewer, sex blogger, beauty columnist, and high school English teacher. She lives in Dallas.