Category squirrel muttering

When we were on holiday in Australia, two squirrels invaded our back balcony and ate everything in their path to make a nest.

Oh how cute, we squealed. Now Mrs Squirrel is as fat as butter and about to bring forth a litter in clear breach of the eviction notice I served them.

Animals (apart from dogs and cats) alarm me. They alarm me when they are in my house, wardrobe, under my sofas, in bathrooms or in my kitchen. I think this is perfectly reasonable. They have their territory and I have mine, there is little room for a Venn diagram intersect on the matter. Humans inside, animals outside.

Now that Mrs Squirrel’s waters are about to break, visions of lemming-like hordes of them are giving me nightmares. For we are on the 2nd floor and in order to get out to the balcony ( to do what? throw them over? are they flying squirrels? show them pictures of a better neighbourhood/park?) I have to open the door and for them the only way out will be in, so to speak. Hence my predicament.

Squirrels bite, the fact they have eaten the watering can is a fair indication of their teeth power and in defence of their young, they might be lethal. I know they bite because one of my authors was badly bitten – and he is a vet, as in professional animal person.

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I could wait for the entire family to be born, get fed up and leave (do teenage squirrels hang about?) or call the vet. Or I could just draw the curtains and pretend they’re not there. Yup, trying that one.

*There is actually a name for fear of squirrels – sciurophobia – I rest my case.

 

two squirrels in a watering can
Squirrel cute, or not…

 

 

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